


Darcy Lewis vs. The Tabloids

by shinykari (meinterrupted)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: #coulsonlives, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Darcy is the fandom bicycle and I love it, F/F, F/M, Five Times, Prompt Fic, Women Being Awesome, so does the NYC media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinterrupted/pseuds/shinykari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reporters in New York need better research skills, seriously.</p><p>Or, six times the media got Darcy's relationship with an Avenger wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'Darcy/Avengers, rumors.' Un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine.

_Science love back on?_

Darcy rolled her eyes at the blurry pair of photos on the front page of the latest gossip rag. "For real? They think I'm Betty Ross? Just because Bruce and I grabbed a coffee one time? Have you _seen_ her? The only thing that's even similar is our hair. That's just shitty research."

Jane shrugged and held out a hand. "Probably better if they get it wrong. Now give me that wrench, I need to recalibrate this thing."

*

_Pepper Potts heartbroken as Tony Stark steps out with mystery brunette_

Darcy glared at the National Enquirer as she waited to check out at the bodega around the corner from her building. She was tempted to put her Mexican Coke back in the cooler and walk out, but she refused to let the media's obsession with the Avengers' love lives have that much sway over her.

She stepped up to the counter and handed over the cash. "Girl on the magazine looks like you," the cashier said.

Darcy shrugged. "Not really. I'm way prettier," she said with a tight grin.

*

_Black Widows bats for the other team!_

This photo was actually a problem. Darcy bought the magazine on her way in and barged into Coulson's office without knocking.

"One of our people is selling photos to the media," she said, without preamble, and tossed the tabloid on his desk.

He spun it around and frowned at the cover. It showed Natasha on top of Darcy, in what they both knew was a wrestling hold, but looked sexual to the untrained eye. The picture was blurry and from a low angle, probably a cell phone camera, Darcy thought. Coulson sighed and pursed his lips. "I'll take care of it. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Miss Lewis."

"Any time."

*

_Cupid caught by his own arrow? Hawkeye canoodling with SHIELD intern_

"Ugh!!! I am not an intern!" She smacked her hand down on the table, rattling the centerpiece.

Steve arched a brow. "Why is _that_ the part of the headline that bothers you?"

"Because it's stupid and sexist. If it were Tasha and some dude, he'd be an 'agent,' but because I'm a young, attractive woman, I'm an 'intern.'"

He sighed and wrapped an arm around her waist. "You know they're just trying to sell magazines."

She wrinkled her nose. "I know. But I don't have to like it."

*

_A harem for the Prince of Asgard! Jane Foster not enough for his alien appetites!_

Jane marched into the lab with a murderous expression on her face, and banged around for several minutes before whirling on Darcy. "Where do these people get off?"

Darcy sat still, not sure what to do or say. "Um, who?"

"The stupid tabloids!" She picked up a magazine and tossed it at Darcy. "'Alien appetites'? What, do they think we have, like, tentacle sex or something?"

Darcy squinted at the photo, which was of Thor carrying the two of them out of a bar after a couple rounds with a bottle of tequila. Both of them were curled up against his broad chest, giggling drunkenly. "Eh, don't worry about it. No one smart reads the shit anyway."

*

_Never-before published photos of Captain America released from Howard Stark's personal archives turn up online_

Darcy just gaped at the headline and the photo beneath it. It had been taken last week, at Stark's latest fundraiser, and showed Steve, wearing his dress uniform, swinging her around the dance floor, the skirt of her retro-inspired dress billowing out around her. "Now that's just insulting," she muttered. "I've been paired up with every single Avenger in the press, except my boyfriend, and then they get this great photo, and they still get it wrong!"

Steve grinned at her and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I told you that you looked like a pin-up girl."

She huffed, then bit her lip. "I did look good, didn't I?"

"Always."


	2. Time Stamp: When the media finally gets it right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little tag/epilogue written for merideathlives on Tumblr for the [time stamp meme](http://shinykari.tumblr.com/tagged/time-stamp-meme).

_America’s Sweetheart: Steve Rogers confirms he has a girlfriend, says it’s serious_

Darcy arched her brow at Steve’s wide grin as he tossed the tabloid onto the table in front of her. “What?”

“Check page 3,” he said as he headed to the kitchen for some coffee.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Nat,” she grumbled as she scanned the front-page headlines—apparently someone had spotted Bigfoot outside Atlantic City—before turning to the third page. “Being all secretive and—OH MY GOD,” she yelped. “You…?” She trailed off and looked up to find him smiling at her from just a foot away. “I thought we were going to keep this, you know,” she mumbled, waving her hand between the two of them, “private.”

Steve rolled his eyes and leaned in to press a soft kiss against her lips. “I didn’t give them your name, since that should be your choice, but maybe this will stop the worst of the inaccuracies. At least,” he added, taking the paper from her hands and settling into one of the other chairs around the table, “they’ll probably stop saying I’m sleeping with Tony now.”

Darcy giggled. “I dunno, they are pretty stuck on that one. I think they just like the visual.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Darcy Lewis vs. The Tabloids](https://archiveofourown.org/works/737327) by [shinykari (meinterrupted)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meinterrupted/pseuds/shinykari), [sisi_rambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisi_rambles/pseuds/sisi_rambles)
  * [[Podfic] Darcy Lewis Vs The Tabloids](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6950320) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton), [SomethingIncorporeal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingIncorporeal/pseuds/SomethingIncorporeal)




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